Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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