I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
