Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
