I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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