dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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