I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
