NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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