Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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