at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
