They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
