super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
