That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
