Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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