how hairy? two words: wookie tits
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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