ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
