come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Couch. On fire.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
