how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
