i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
