i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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