i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My life is pants optional.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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