five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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