I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
