Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
