I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
