First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
