if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
