Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
