No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
