Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
