Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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