does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Randomize
