Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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