sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Randomize
