if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
