I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
