Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
