how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You pole danced in your parka.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Randomize
