My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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