True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We are two peas in an std pod
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
