I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
