Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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