he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
