Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
