check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
