this beer tastes like vomit already
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
