Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
