I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
