She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
