We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
