just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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